Settled

I wish I had my daughter's enthusiasm about my past birthday as she does about hers. Every time I turn around she's telling someone that she's going to be 3 this summer or she is asking me what has to happen before she turns 3. She was the youngest in her preschool class and she is genuinely more excited about turning 3 than her birthday party. We've barely even talked about that. So, when my 30th came and went this week rather quietly I thought how much has changed since childhood. My mom reminded me of the time I was so excited about my birthday that I put on my birthday dress first thing in the morning and drug a chair into my grandma's driveway. I sat there all day waiting for people to arrive for my party that afternoon. I have found the only thing interesting about turning 30 was that I was doing a lot of reflection on where I am in my life and where I want to go from here.

I don't have any qualms about turning 30 and despite my little sisters' teasing, I don't feel old in the least. I am happy I survived my early 20s and I'm surprised at how fast the second half of my 20s flew by. I met my husband when I was 20 and we had some crazy but fun times together becoming the adults we are today. Now, I believe I married too young (23) but at least I married the right person so we've been able to grow and share our lives together. We managed to relocate to a beautiful area and begin rewarding careers. We've bought a house and had two amazing and beautiful children with a third on the way. I've earned my master's degree while staying at home with infants and toddlers. I am nothing but proud and happy for where we are and the direction I feel we are headed in today.

I have to say the most fun I had on my birthday was listening to my friends' messages and phone calls, reading cards and overall feeling really loved. I took the kids to a children's museum so we could enjoy the day together without chores and we went to Steak 'n Shake for dinner. I used to work at a SNS in high school so I always feel young there. My husband and I celebrated my birthday on the weekend by getting a sitter, having a fancy dinner and walking to the movie theater to see Hangover 2. That was great! We realized it had been a year since we had just had dinner without children and enjoyed each other. (Our other dates revolved around a quick dinner and hockey games.) We reminisced about our early marriage and what it was like when we just decided to go somewhere on a whim or sleep in. And, then we were really excited to see the kids the next morning because just a single night off makes it easier to see how blessed your life really is now.

There isn't anything I would change about my life. I would say that only thing that is tough is feeling like you are sitting on the sidelines in your career especially when I've really found something I love to do. It's not always easy to watch your friends climb their respective ladders when you feel like when it is your time you will be playing catch up. It's nothing that bothers me to the point to change our family life right now though. I believe raising my children into hopefully wonderful people is perhaps the most satisfying thing I will ever be able to do with my life. Plus, I am often reminded of something my mom has said to me, "as women we can have it all, just not necessarily all at the same time." I have no doubt that when it is time I will have a wonderful career because I know I have a lot left to give.

In between my birthday and the day my hubby and I celebrated, we had to spend a morning in court settling the car accident the kids and I were in 2 years ago. A man ran a red light as we were almost completely through the intersection. Ryan wasn't yet 2 months old. The court appearance and settlement didn't go as we had hoped. There was no dispute about fault but we also never hired a lawyer because we didn't think the lawyer fee would make it worthwhile so when all was said and done we walked away feeling like the insurance companies involved were the ones that were protected. I felt like I failed Ryan after every hoop we've jumped through. There was a minor settlement reached and hopefully when Ryan turns 18, the courts will be able and capable of releasing the funds so he can have a down-payment on college. I don't want to come back to this topic and I am relieved to have this matter settled. However, I just have to say there is something wrong with our system when there is so much burden of proof on the innocent party. I can't tell you the amount of time that was spent being shuffled about insurance personnel, calling for records and billings, filing and refiling paperwork, etc. The other thing that got us is that we pay our health insurance provider to cover us and when they knew that the auto insurance was claiming liability they wanted to be reimbursed. Understandable but instead of being reimbursed by the insurance company, they are reimbursed from the settlement. And then the settlement is given to the court system until the youngest minor turns 18. So, the only thing worse than insurance companies haggling over money was getting the government involved. In 16 years, this will be over. For now, I'm going to focus on packing for the beach!