Crossroads

I have been so blessed to be able to stay home with Isabelle and Ryan. I know there are many people who never get a choice. I'm approaching a crossroads where I have to decide what I am going to do when I graduate in December. I love being with the kids. I love sharing their days and being able to watch them grow as well as being very attuned to their needs and changes. And, I'll be honest, I don't trust day care workers to care for my children like I could. I do feel more at ease with them being older and capable to communicate how they spent their day and voice any potential concerns. With that said, there are beautiful, wonderful people in the centers and I value the social and educational value for children who are ready.

I love being with the kids but I am also eager to start my career. I feel like it has been such a long road just getting to the starting point and I don't want to miss the opportunity to start as I did with journalism. When I graduated with a journalism degree, I needed to move with the job and keep writing in order to keep my clips current. Well, I was engaged to get married in 3 months and my husband was still working and finishing his degree. Moving wasn't in the cards at the time. Plus, I lived in a small town which was over-saturated with journalists. I took a job as a bilingual customer service rep. for a company where I could use my French degree speaking to Canadians. It was awful. I sat in a cubicle listening to people complain all day. It didn't matter what language they spoke. I tried selling furniture and worked my way up to managing a small furniture store. Good money but also not satisfying. I remember talking to my mom and I still think of her sage advice, "figure out how you want to spend your day and then find a way to get paid for it." I figured I wanted to spend my day helping kids learn. I knew that was satisfying. It was helping others in a positive manner without taking on a lot of negative energy.

In 2005, I started substitute teaching. I also had a summer school job with my own classroom of K-3 students who were struggling to move to the next grade level and also had tough economic and social/family struggles. I've never had such a wonderful experience. I taught a boy to read who was resistant and had a speech impediment. Each of my students left with more self-confidence. And, the class tested as the most improved in the academy from their pre- and post-assessments. I was hooked. I wanted to be a teacher. I found that I had to go back to school and I might as well get a master's degree with the amount of coursework I'd have to take for a teaching license. At this point, my husband was graduating and itching to leave MO. He knew the area was limiting and certainly not large enough for him to breathe on his own. So, we literally took out a U.S. map and started eliminating areas and states. My only requirement was that there had to be a decent college nearby for teaching. His focus was on getting an IT position.

He graduated in December. Again, my wise mom said, "maybe you should visit the city before you move there." Sure did. Visited in January, signed a lease and moved in on Valentine's Day. I think she was attempting to help us slow down and evaluate our decision but instead we just jumped right in. Here we are. Halfway between the beach and the mountains. No more than 3 cold months a year. Plenty of college choices and the best IT center for jobs in the country. Granted, we never advertised all the motivations for our move or that neither of us had a job lined up when we drove across the country. But, we both took turns at temp positions and I worked a couple jobs for awhile. John landed a fantastic job with a great company and he has felt at home ever since. I met a wonderful lady, Vicki, who helped me realize how library science allowed me to use some of my journalism skills while also teaching. Three years of graduate school. Two children. Here lies my crossroads.

I'm not looking for a job yet but I've had 3 calls for interviews in the past 2 weeks. I had a job offer in the spring and I'm really scared to be turning anything down in this economy. But, I have an internship lined up for the fall. John will be able to be with the kids on Thursdays since he works a 4-day week now. (He's still full-time--just 4 long days to allow an extra day off.) I may need to go in for a couple hours for a few Tuesdays but, again I am blessed with a wonderful neighbor who has offered to help out. So, what do I do once I have that degree? Do I continue to trust that everything will work out and that I could be so lucky to get a part-time job that incorporates the best of both worlds? Or, do I need to make a choice...work or kids? There is obviously a financial aspect to the picture. More money would be very helpful but childcare costs prevent you from getting too far ahead. Any sage advice would be appreciated.